Friday, January 30, 2015

Losing Weight... Again

So, if you saw my before and after photos, they're pretty impressive, huh?  Shortly after that, my thyroid started to malfunction, and I gained all the weight back, despite my diet and exercise.  At that point, honestly, I felt so lousy, though, that I stopped taking care of myself for a while.  It's taken about 3 years to stabilize.

By stabilize I mean feel healthier more of the time than I feel cruddy.  Between the my hypothyroidism and fibro, I thought I'd never feel stable again.  But, I seem to be in some sort of remission at the moment.. for over a month straight, really.  I still have sleep-it-off days, but most of my week is good.  Today I wasn't tired all day- surreal!

So, I have gone back on the strict diet and joined a weight-loss competition with some relatives and friends.  We've done 4/8 weeks so far.  I'm down 5.69% body weight and 11.8 pounds so far since Jan 1.  I actually lost about 7 more pounds during the fall. I still have quite a bit to go, but I know I'll get there if I don't lose hope.  I'm actually 6/26th in the contest, so that's not terrible.  I'd love to win some of the money, but that's not the main goal here (only because I only have so much control over whether I win or not!)

Here's a chart of the year so far (yeah, I know you can tell my weight- and that's okay):

I realize that keeping my numbers in my head causes discouragement for me.  I always think I'm doing more poorly than I really am, so then I want to give up.  I also think about my ideal weight, which at 5'0" is somewhere between 120-130, but it's not smart to focus on the final goal, just today's goal.  I find that using helps me a lot; that is where I got the chart.  They have a free website and app which keeps track of weight, inches, calories, and exercise.  I don't do the calorie part, because I'm on the strict diet, so I feel that's sufficient for me.   Friday morning is weigh-in.  So I then eat something I want that's not on the diet after that.  And then I behave the rest of the week.

I've also been able to exercise fairly consistently.  You'll notice in the following chart, there's a week of nothing- that's because once a month I spend most of my time in the fetal position watching Netflix.  But I've been able to walk to work many days (I live 5 blocks from work) and I'm doing yoga, water aerobics, and belly dance (I'm in a troupe here) pretty regularly.

With my health being inconsistent, I realize that this won't always be the norm.  I've found that there are times when I realized, "it's not time to lose weight right now," which, yes, is discouraging, but it's just a fact with chronic illnesses. And that's okay.  No point dwelling on it too much.  Stress makes symptoms worse, after all.  

One more thought.  This summer I was up to 193 or more pounds.  That's ridiculously high for me!  And I have an eating disorder mentality about my own weight and how I look in public- usually, this means voices in my head telling me I shouldn't go out in public at that weight.  I absolutely don't feel this way about anyone else, and I know it's wrong.  So, to counter this, I performed with my troupe for the first time this summer, at that weight.  I'm not the belly-baring type, so I wore a tank underneath, but I will do that no matter my weight.  That's just me.  But, I didn't let my weight stop me from doing something I wanted to do.  If you're struggling with yours, don't let it stop you.  
Me and my daughter at Renaissance Faire, summer 2014

I will add some recipes in a couple of days.  To be honest, my hands hurt from the rain, and I just want to cuddle with the dog and watch Criminal Minds for the rest of the night.  

No comments:

Post a Comment