Stress-Eating and Prayer

Well, it's been a stressful summer at our house.  Not all of it, of course, as we've had a lot of fun, too, but without going into detail, it's been a really rough summer for my daughter, and I've been beside myself not only trying to protect her but to figure out the right things to do in regards to the situation.  I've gotten really good at handling stress (for the most part), when it is just mine, but when it's hers, it still completely throws me.

So, I've found myself allowing more and more slip-ups in my eating.  I've always liked to eat out or take her out when things get too tense, but they've stayed tense for a long time, and this created a bad pattern over the last few weeks.  Then, of course, even though I felt terrible- not guilty so much as felt like garbage- my body went nuts on the carbs and wanted more.  It became harder to get back on track.  It's really irritating that my body reacts to carbs and sugars like some do to alcohol.  How unfair is that?!

I had several days of better but not perfect eating, which doesn't actually help a lot.  Even one cookie or piece of bread in say every two days will still get my body reacting, which makes eating well the rest of the time a major task.

So, I went back to what got me on track at first over a year ago.  Yes, it was agony and fatigue that prompted the start of my new permanent diet, but willpower alone wasn't enough.  I realized back then that in every other facet of my life when I am struggling, I pray for help to know what to do or to have the strength to do it.  I think that for those of us who pray, this is common.  But, I think it might also be common to only pray, "Please let me just heal or feel better or lose weight!!!" wanting God to just fix it for us, especially when it has to do with something as emotional as food is for most of us.  And He can, obviously, but he usually doesn't work that way.  He will help us help ourselves.  I was very specific in my prayers over the last few years asking for help to find what I needed to in order to help ease my fibromyalgia symptoms, then I went to work studying out what I could find.  When I found the diet, I asked for strength to change how I ate and to stick to it, a prayer I had to repeat a lot!

So, after my hiatus this summer, I realized I needed to pray for strength again.  To someone not attached to foods (or one who doesn't have to worry about what he or she eats), this probably sounds weird.  It might sound weird anyway.  But, getting and staying relatively healthy is important, so why would I not ask for help?  I finally remembered to do that again yesterday, and I suddenly had a change of heart from "Yeah, I need to get it together again; I know.  I know." to "I can't eat another thing that will make me sick!  What was I thinking?"  The main thing I've decided through this experience is how little my accomplishments are actually coming from me when it really comes down to it- and I'm okay with that.

So, yesterday I planned out the meals for the whole week, bought me some cheese and Boar's head cold cuts for when I'm in a pinch, and this morning I boiled a bunch of eggs and put them in the fridge (and ate two of them).  This afternoon I sauteed zucchini and onion in butter.  And I already feel tons better than I did two days ago.  I'd like to say I'll never rationalize a slip-up again, but I know myself better.  For now, though, I'm back on track.